Busting 8 Myths About Seeing a Psychologist.

Are you thinking of therapy but wondering if maybe it isn’t for you? You’re not alone. For many, the idea of seeing a psychologist can be quite unnerving. This isn’t surprising given that going to therapy presents us with the rather unusual situation of opening up to a complete stranger within minutes of meeting them – an idea that may not sit well with many of us.

However, contrary to popular belief, this is usually where the peculiarities end. Unfortunately, there are a number of misconceptions perpetuated in the media, and in broader society, that mistakenly lead people to believe that therapy is an altogether odd and uncomfortable experience. However, it might surprise you to know that, by the end of the first session, most clients look forward to coming back as they realise there was nothing to worry about.

So, in the spirit of breaking down some of the barriers that might be holding you back from starting therapy, I’m busting some of the myths about what it’s like to see a psychologist:

1.       Therapy isn’t just for people with a diagnosed mental health condition.

While psychologists can and do work with severe mental illness, we also enjoy working with the ‘stuff’ that makes up everyday life challenges. Problems such job loss, parenting, relationships, changing life circumstances, and stress are all part of the human experience and will affect almost all of us at some point in our lives. These are the very issues that people will often bring along to therapy, as engaging a psychologist can help immensely.

2.       There’s no “Good Will Hunting” moment.

Remember the scene in “Good Will Hunting” where Robin Williams’ character tells Will “it’s not your fault” over and over until he breaks down and cries for the first time? The movie portrays this as the single pivotal moment that supposedly turns Will’s life around. It’s a great scene but therapy isn’t really like that. There’s no single ground breaking moment that miraculously resolves all of your problems at once. Therapy is a gradual process that is more like a series of smaller breakthroughs that take place over time. There can be some amazingly powerful ‘Aha’ moments, whereby things that have troubled you for years will finally make sense; however, the issue usually needs to be revisited and worked through in later sessions.

3.       You don’t need to lie down

While some therapists might have a couch in their office, you won’t be asked to lie down and do free word association (that’s saying random words that come to mind). This is a myth perpetuated in the media that lingers from the Freudian days. Years ago, ‘patients’ would lie facing away from their therapists because it supposedly made them more open, but not anymore. These days, more emphasis is placed upon the connection between client and therapist.

4.       You won’t be judged or criticised for having a problem.

All too often I hear of people who avoid seeking help because they worry they’ll be told that they’re a bad mother, partner, co-worker, or a bad person in some other way. But please believe me when I say that this absolutely not true. Your therapist will always listen with acceptance and compassion and, in time, you will hopefully come to see yourself in this way too.

5.       It’s Ok to shop around

If you don’t feel like you click with your therapist within the first few sessions, then it’s ok to shop around. Sometimes finding the right therapist is a bit like shopping for a pair of shoes; sometimes you can find the perfect fit right away – other times you’ll need to keep looking. Either way, once you find that right fit, it can be an incredibly rewarding experience.

6.       You don’t have to know what the issue is

While some people come along to therapy with a clear idea of what they’d like to get out of the process, others might just have a vague sense that something isn’t quite right. It really doesn’t matter which camp you fall into – you don’t even have to know what you need to discuss. Some of the most meaningful sessions I’ve had with clients have started with them saying “I don’t really have anything to talk about today”.

7.       Your psychologist won’t tell you what to do

Contrary to popular belief, the role of a psychologist isn’t to give advice or tell you what you should do. It might sound strange but advice giving often does nothing to help clients – in fact it can even keep them stuck (even if it’s good advice). Instead, a good psychologist will help you explore the concerning issue more fully and perhaps see aspects of the problem you hadn’t considered before.  In this way, therapy can help you access your own inner wisdom, empowering you to make your own decisions that are right for you. To read more on the issue of advice in therapy, visit the Delta Psychology website and head to the blog. 

8.       Every psychologist is different

While all psychologists are trained professionals who draw on scientific evidence in their work, it’s important to remember that they are all individuals who bring their on unique twist to any therapeutic style or intervention. Broadly speaking, while some may be quite structured in their approach, others may feel very unstructured, and it’s important that you find the fit that is right for you. So if you find that your first experience in therapy doesn’t quite hit the mark, then don’t let it put you off. As mentioned above, sometimes it takes a few tries but, when you find a match, it will be worth it.

So now that you have some idea of what therapy is like, there is at least one less thing holding you back. Adulting is hard – therapy can help. So why not give it a try and see what you think.

All the very best

Dr Lisa